Redeeming Love…

By: Deborah Wallace
(a condensed excerpt from her book Testify-Volume 2: The Power of Pain)

“I never want to get married again!”

These were the words I spoke to the Lord approximately two decades ago,
after He informed me that there would be no reconciliation in my marriage. How
could this be? I had prayed, interceded, and believed that God would heal our
broken vows. I trusted God to mend the fragmented pieces of a love that was
supposed to endure “till death do us part”. Yet, He told me that all my praying,
believing, and trusting were for naught—nothing.
“Why, Lord? Why won’t you help me? Why won’t You do a miracle in my
husband’s heart?”

I had been in what felt like a loveless marriage for years, experiencing the
disappointment, pain, anguish, heartbreak, and heartache of the worst betrayal.
As loveless as the marriage felt, I still held onto hope for a miracle, not realizing
the miracle that was needed was for my own heart. I needed the courage and
strength to accept what the Lord had spoken to me. With tears flowing and heart
broken, I told Abba: “I never want to get married again!”

He gently told me that I would indeed marry again, and that I would know
what it is to be loved by a godly man. He also spoke these words to me: “You are
not allowed to date.” The Lord said that my promised marriage would not be
about the pursuit of happiness; it would be about the plans and purposes of God.
He said the happiness and joy I would experience would be the fringe benefits of
being in a kingdom marriage.

Not allowed to date. What man is going to marry me without dating me?

The Lord told me that my husband would know that I was to be his wife by
the Holy Spirit, and that I would know my husband in the same way. I said to the
Lord, “Okay, but if I am to marry again, You are going to have to do it.”
On this journey of marriage, I have learned some things. Although God is all
knowing–He knows whom we will eventually marry–He gives us the choice. God
will bring a man and woman together for the purpose of marriage, but He will not
force them to marry, because He has given all of us free will. Many have missed
out on a good, godly spouse, holding out for someone they considered BETTER
while failing to realize that the BEST was right in front of them.

Please understand: this is my story. It is not intended to be legalistic about
dating or courting. God told me that I was not allowed to date; that does not
mean He will speak the same to you. Our heavenly Father, Abba, really does know
best. We must trust this.

“Alright, Lord,” I told Him. “If I am to marry again, I want to experience
marriage and sex according to Your Word, Your Will, and Your Way, Yahweh!”
During the waiting, there was much work to be done within me to prepare
me for this fulfilled promise of a kingdom marriage. Philippians 1:6 reminds us
that God has begun a good work in us and that He will complete it. I have given
Him a lot to work with. It took almost twenty years for God to prepare me for His
son: my husband.

Through the years of singleness, much took place in my oneness with the
Lord and in my spiritual growth. There was much breaking, refashioning, and
molding. Christ was being formed in me in ways I had not realized were needed.
For example, I was in need of healing and deliverance from ungodly mindsets
about myself. I had to learn that my value was not based on people’s opinion of
me, but rather on the price that Christ Jesus paid for me. Neither my past nor the
opinion of man would be allowed to define me any longer. My prayers changed. I
began to yield even more, surrendering to the sovereignty of the Holy Spirit and
allowing Him to do what only He could do in my heart and soul.

I asked God to teach me what a marriage made in heaven—holy
matrimony—looked like through His eyes, as He intended the covenant of
marriage to be in His Word. I also told Abba that I wanted to be so content in Him
that when the time came for me to marry, He would say, “Daughter, it is time”,
and I would say, “Daddy, do I have to?”

Finally, I got to the place of contentment where if it were to be just Jesus
and me for the rest of my life, it was alright with me. This had been a Philippians 3
season of forgetting what was behind, looking forward to what was ahead, and
taking hold of that for which Christ Jesus had taken hold of me in order to obtain
the fulfilled promise: the prize. What I learned most during this season was that
the process was the prize. Many times, when we fail to embrace the season that
God has us in, we forfeit the work that He desires to do—work that must take
place within us before it can manifest outside us. I learned much about my God
and myself during these years. God did a work in me that no man can take from
Me.

And then suddenly . . .

After a Thursday Bible study, the Lord told me to go with a sister wherever
she was going. I asked her what her plans after our class were. She told me she
was headed to BJ’s. I thought, “Lord, I do not need anything from BJ’s;
nevertheless, Lord, at Your Word . . .” (Luke 5:5). While in BJ’s, this sister and I
were listening to one of the store’s product demonstrators, and I saw a
gentleman from the corner of my eye. I thought I recognized him from a church I
had attended in the late ’90s. Out loud, I spoke, “Is that . . .?” (I could not
remember his name.) He nodded: “Yes—Mike.” (He did not remember my name
either.) We only knew each other by face, because the church had been a large
congregation. We exchanged pleasantries and contact information.

He called me the next day, Friday, to catch up on what had happened in our
lives in the past twenty years. I mentioned to him that I had written a book. He
asked me if he could pick up a copy of my book on Saturday. I told him yes, and
we made plans for him to do so. When he came to pick the book up, as we
engaged in light conversation, he suddenly had this profoundly serious look on his
face. He looked at me and asked if I were to be his wife. I replied, “If that is the
Lord’s will, yes.”

After he left, I realized I had told this man—whom I had encountered just a
couple of days before—that I would marry him. I got scared. The next day,
Sunday, when he called, I told him that I thought it best if we were just friends:
sister and brother in Christ. He respected my decision.

The Lord led me on a three-day fast. During the fast, the Lord revealed
things to me about this gentleman. Some things that he revealed made me
skeptical. God told me that just as He had said “It is good” when He created the
world, He was saying “It is good” concerning me and this gentleman—but I had to
be willing. God told me that He brings his sons and daughters together for the
purpose of marriage, but does not force marriage on us; He has given us free will
to decide about every aspect of our lives.

The love and forgiveness of our Abba God . . . what manner of love is this!
To love as Jesus loves and forgive as He forgives—Lord, help me to be like you!

It was at this moment that I made the choice to move forward in this
relationship, if Michael wanted the same. I resolved that I would continually seek
to see and understand Michael through the eyes of God.
Michael continued to visit me, and we enjoyed getting to know each other.
As the weeks passed by, I began to tell him things about me that I thought would
surely turn him off. Yet, no matter what I said, he always responded, “We can
work on that” or “We can work through it”. No matter what I said, he was not
deterred. I began to think, “He reminds me of someone. What manner of love is
this, that this man is so determined that I am the one for him?”
I said something in reference to my size (I am plus size), and he interrupted.
Looking at me intently, he said, “I see you.” Michael’s words seemed to permeate
to the very core of my being. He saw “Me”. He saw the treasure of “Me” that
exists beyond the physical realm. I realized that his love for me reminded me of
the redeeming love of God. God is love—constant, unconditional love.

Within weeks of Michael and I running into each other at BJ’s, we chose to
embrace this supernatural love. Michael officially proposed to me, on bended
knee, during a Bible study class at a church called Covenant Love. It was March 20,
2019—National Proposal Day. We are both in our sixties, and we feel greatly
blessed that our Lord brought us together in our latter years.

There is much to share about Michael’s and my one-flesh union, holy
matrimony, but that will come in the book Redeeming Love. For now, I leave you
with this important lesson I have learned through the years: do it God’s way, and
you’ll get God’s results! Believe me, Michael was well worth the two decades of
preparation and waiting. We just stare at each other sometimes, in awe of what
our Lord did for us in blessing us with each other.

In conclusion, I encourage you—my sister, my brother—that if holy
matrimony is what you desire, stay the course of letting your desires be fulfilled
through the Word, Will, and Way of Yahweh. Know this: when that special
someone comes into your life, he or she will see you and appreciate the treasure
within. It will be worth the wait. Remember this regarding ALL your desires: “Do it
God’s way and get God’s results!”

Love and Blessings!

Michael & Deborah Wallace

Deborah Wallace is the founder of King’s Daughters Ministry Group which, based upon Luke 1:45 “Blessed is she who has believed that the LORD would fulfill His promises to her”; facilitates growth and spiritual development in the fulfillment of this promise of God to His Daughters by providing a safe place to encourage, inspire, strengthen and empower through teaching, coaching in areas of spiritual, personal and economic development with a Kingdom of God perspective. King’s Daughters Ministry Group partners with community efforts to promote positive change.

I have had the pleasure of serving with Deborah and King’s Daughters Ministry Group for years and I know her testimony will bless you as it has blessed me! Enjoy!